Dad Jokes

I'd tell you a joke about NAT but I would have to translate.

A byte walks into a bar looking miserable. The bartender asks it: "What's wrong buddy?" "Parity error." it replies. "Ah that makes sense, I thought you looked a bit off."

A neutron walks into a bar and asks for a price on a drink. The barkeeper says: "For you... no charge!"

Four engineers get into a car. The car won't start. The Mechanical engineer says "It's a broken starter". The Electrical engineer says "Dead battery". The Chemical engineer says "Impurities in the gasoline". The IT engineer says "Hey guys, I have an idea: How about we all get out of the car and get back in".

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!

// This line doesn't actually do anything, but the code stops working when I delete it.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says "Can't you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!" to which the man replies, "I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings; we only worry about errors."

If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashed ... Oh wait, he does.

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.